Christians are straight up FREAKS
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Sober January is a disaster.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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