Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
