But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
