Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
