Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
