does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
