You're my little dorito
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
