Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
