and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
