Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
