Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Randomize
