she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
