I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
