Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
