So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
