so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
