nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Randomize
