Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Randomize