i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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