69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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