You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize
