He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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