If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
