my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Randomize
