You're completely useless in the revolution.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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