Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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