Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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