tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
