At least make sure they are 18
Why
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
