Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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