Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Randomize
