i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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