I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize