i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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