the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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