So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
