I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
honey bunches of taint.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
