Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
