I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
