It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Randomize
