so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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