my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
