She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
