I bet he comes in French.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
