and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
worst night to have a conscience
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
