Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
