i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
If I die, sorry about rent.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize