she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
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