I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
