I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
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