# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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