don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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