I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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