I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
