why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I need water and some morals
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize