I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Randomize
