I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
tell your sister to shave her snatch
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
