Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
