HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
