i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
