I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Randomize
